Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
