i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i will never coherently bang her
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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