plz talk dirty to me
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
