Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
