Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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