how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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