New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
