Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
you made out with another girl for some wings
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
