i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
