hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
