It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need a burrito and a hug.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
