He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
