Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
