piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
