well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He felt like a one man threesome
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
