hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
