Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
