I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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