hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
