Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
