I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
