That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
