that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
