It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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