I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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