using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
