I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
