they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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