You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Buhtt sex?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
