Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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