i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
