its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
