Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
