Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
