For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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