nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
