TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
