You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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