someone get that fucking seahorse.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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