There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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