And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
