we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
