just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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