laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
