Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
