And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
