Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
