I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
