C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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