After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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