im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I accidentally burped into my bong.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
